WEDDING-THEY ARE MORE ABOUT EGO THAN LOVE

This weekend friends of mine will be jetting off to an exotic island in the South Pacific. The cheapest flight they could find will include multiple changes and long waits at airports.

Despite this their stay on the sun-kissed idyllic island will last just 24 hours before they turn round and make the trip back to the UK.
Why the odd behavior why put your self through hours of travel and jet lag? Because they have been invited to a friend's wedding and felt unable to refuse and the funny thing is I'm pretty sure the bride and groom think they are doing their friends a huge favor by inviting them to their wedding.
No doubt they believe that all their guest are delighted to be part of their wonderful international extravaganza.
The truth is modern weddings have lost there way.The fact the average wedding now cost more than £20,000 is ridiculous and wrong, especially when you think of how many people on this planet struggle to survive on less then 50p a day.

The excessive cost is also a symptom of a deeper problem.For what all the taffeta in the world can not cover up is that the modern wedding has become far to much about the egos of the bride and groom.
These days its almost as if the happy couple are not just getting married- they are also directing some over the top Hollywood epic which they have cast themselves in the starring roles. Look at the couple who insist that everyone attended their wedding dressed in white from head to toe. Those that didnt have white suits and shoes handy would have had to pay out to get them. The couple then sashayed down the aisle in matching scarlet. Talk about look at me. It would be easy to laugh at this overblown vanity if it wasnt all such a huge waste of money.
Of course, its absolutely right that the bride and groom ought to feel special. After all this is the day when they look into each others eyes and promise to LOVE and CARE for each other for the rest of their lives, FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE, FOR RICHER,FOR POORER, IN SICKNESS and IN HEALTH

The appeal of my special day has now become an excuse to demand the best of everything from flowers to clothing to hairdressers to napkin rings.

To many couples want to sit in their Posh and Becks style thrones and be admired by the invited audience, is this what make the best wedding?
Or is it the simplest weddings  that are the best, The wedding in a church all country flowers put together by a friend trestle tables laid out with food cooked by family and friends. A heartfelt exchange of vows in the local register office then a table in a crowded restaurant for dinner. What makes these wedding so special is the love the couples had for each other a love that spilled out to family a friends.
The essence of that love whether expressed in a sacred or secular way is the promise to put the interests of another before those of your own. Love is a movement away from the idea that everything in life is about you.

Which is why modern weddings are a travesty. For in becoming a great celebration of the ego,they are a threat to the very thing they are supposed to be about.
Just look for instance at the excruciating self obsessed tantrums shown on livings TV's Four wedding series where four brides get to compete with each rating the others weddings.
Some of the problem is the widespread influence of celebrity magazines, where the whole experience charade of show biz marriage is posed for cameras. Of course these staged set up make everything seem fake and unreal, even worse is they treat their guests like props. For ordinary couples wanting to recreate that feeling of being a celebrity for a day is not the right template for a celebration of true love.

There is hope however as I feel people are tiring of the modern obsession with ostentatious weddings, we,ve had enough of this triumph over style.
Marriage is at the heart of a stable society It provides a secure environment for bringing up children and its conducive to our long term happiness.
Yes we need to celebrate and why not have a fantastic party to mark the beginning of your married life?

The images makers in the wedding business and thats to often what it has become want to persuade you that a simple wedding is cut price second class bargain bucker affair. In truth they don't like simple weddings because they don't ring up the cash registers
So they ramp up expectations with ever more glamorous proposals, investing the wedding with false hope and envious fantasies. These expectations can so impossibly high its no wonder so many weddings are desperately tense affairs in which superficial smiles mask blazing rows erupting off stage.

The happiest weddings are the ones where who give more weight to the promises being made to each other than they do to the table decorations or gift list.
Simple wedding are by far the most beautiful . For when we do away with the expensive and distracting rubbish, we are better able to see the love two people have for one another.


This LOVE is the most beautiful thing in the world.


taken from an article by Giles Fraser St Pauls London

HOW TO SAVE MONEY ON YOUR WEDDING

With the average price of weddings being around £20.000 how do you save money.

BE YOUR OWN WEDDING PLANNER: start early nothing worse then leaving it to the last minute, I highly recommend taking out wedding insurance cover.

USE YOUR FRIENDS: make huge savings by getting a friend or a small local business to make your wedding cake you could save up to £250.00

THE DRESS: yes that beautiful dress costing almost £1000 or more that you will wear for a few hours, and then hang in the wardrobe or may be list on Ebay,
I suggest shopping around for your dress, If you have a computer do look on Ebay new dress,s handmade from Thailand are available for around £50.00 including postage
Try Debenhams, M&S these all sell wedding dress,s . Even if you pay £150.00 you have saved £850.00

HAIR AND MAKE UP: If your planning your own wedding you can search places such as model mayhem for make up artist and hairdressers, If not then do try local shops rather then branded hairdressers, You will find a local shop will take much more time and your almost half your price and look just as good if not better.

FLOWERS: When I got married I bought a bouquet of silk flowers and 15 years on they still have pride of place in my lounge not one person guessed they were not real and I saved a fortune, for table decorations I roped in some friends and we used candles ribbon, and small silk flowers for the table decorations, again saving a fortune on fresh flowers. I gave each of my friends a table decoration to take home and its still a pleasure to see my wedding table decorations in my friends homes

THE VENUE: another huge expense the nearest venue to me charges £4,700 just to be there, That is a lot of money, I suggest really shopping around for venues, look midweek or even winter time. Find a couple of venues you like then haggle get them to bid for your business and play one off against the other, by saying oh so and so said they would include X,Y Z for that price. Venues want your business

FOOD AND DRINK: You choice of venue may tie you to a set price but again review the menu, will guest in July and August want to sit down to a hot meal at around £35.00 per head? why not opt for a barbecue or cold buffet at around £12.00 a head instead

Why not opt for a bar where guest pay for their own drinks, Instead of providing champagne go for a prosecco or cava most people wont notice the difference

PHOTOGRAPHY: I can tell you ways to save on a professional photographer, You could get a friend with a camera to take your pictures, you could ask guests that have digital cameras to allow you to see the pictures and then purchase a stick in album from WHSmith,s . This could save you around £800.00. I,m not going to tell you not to do that but remember your priorities. A guest is there to share your day and have a good time they are not going to take time to get THAT SPECIAL picture they are not fully insured wedding photographer with professional equipment with access to quality albums and master printers. A professional photographer is employed by you to just concentrate on taking your pictures, A few weeks after your wedding when everyone has forgotten about it you will have beautifully crafted images to last a lifetime.

To many times I read and get people come to me whom have had a friend photograph their wedding and the brides head is missing, or they missed the cake cutting as the angle was wrong,There are no images of the ceremony as they do not have a camera capable of taking images in low light,or the bride and groom have red eyes and highlighted skin from a tiny flash gun, Most images from small digital cameras can not be enlarged without compromising the image , and most people will have their images printed by a photo lab or high street store and these will not last more then 10 years.

As a photographer I often wonder why do people spend out on the most expensive dress they will wear for a few hours, the most expensive taxi of your lifetime, The most expensive flowers,all these will be gone, Yet they will skimp on a photographer the one person that can give them memories to last generation after generation.